Observation...

I am curious about people. I often find myself people watching. Last week, while at Ikea, I took Liam into the restaurant portion of Ikea for a Swedish meatball/ stretch your leg break ( try as you may, there is just no getting through that store quickly.) I found a table located next to the play center and set up camp. Liam seeing all the children in the play nook, was nearly leaping out of his stroller to go play. I liberated Liam from the restraint of his stroller and let him dash off to play.

While I sat keeping an eye on Liam, I could not help but take a peak at those at the surrounding tables. One table in particular caught my eye. Three Asian woman were eating alongside three beautiful Asian children. The eldest child may have been all of 5, but they sat eating quietly and contently. These kids appeared well mannered beyond their maturity to me.

My thoughts, which had drifted off into other directions, were suddenly brought back to these children as they one by one dashed by me to go play. I took notice to the fact, that each of these children had finished their lunch, asked permission to play, and were now playing alongside all the other children. In a rather ironic time parallel, another bunch of children came pouring into the play area who appeared very similar in age to the Asian children. These children were followed by a hollering Mother demanding they come and eat. The kids, ignored the demands of their Mother and settled into playing. The Mother got her things settled on a nearby table and came to address her children. She said "don't you WANT to eat first and then play?" The kids shouted back with a unanimous "NO!" The Mother, then returned to her table and pulled out her i-phone.

I found this exchange interesting. The idea of a Mother ( who I would consider to be the "group guide") asking her children to determine when would be an appropriate time to eat, seemed odd to me. I could not help but take notice to the fact that this Mother and her children were "American," as far as cultural classification goes. I then looked around the room, I noticed another table of children eating lunch before play, these children were Indian. As I sat there, I began to notice a pattern of "new comers." All the American children headed straight to the play center, with little to no questions asked. While the Children of other cultures ate their lunch followed by play.

I realized, with out intentionally doing so, I was teaching Liam to succumb to the feeling of instant gratification. I was that "American" mother, letting the child call the shot. Misplacing my responsibility, and asking the child to decide what and when we will do something. I was not doing my part to teach Liam delayed gratification, self control, and respect for authority. Worst part was, I did not realize my disservice. Is it possible that the quest for instant gratification, loss of work ethic, disregard for authority, and sense of entitlement is NOT this awful plague of society? Is it possible that we unintentionally teach this behavior in our own homes?

I took Liam to the park the other day for snacks and play... in that order. All was well. No melt down, no tantrum, Liam played just as normally as all the other children. He was well nourished from his snack and played for hours until he was ready for his nap!